Don’t Hate Andrea Kremer, Hate Her Questions

Posted on August 3, 2011


I watch a lot of sports on television and there is one thing I have started dreading more than the last five minutes of a Michigan State game where we inevitably let our big lead slip away: the sideline reporter’s game-just-ended interview with a sweaty athlete.

I hate it because it seems like  the union guild of sideline reporters has issued a list of required questions that are insipid and have no good answer:

Reporter: “How were you able to score that last touchdown against the same Michigan State defense that had stopped you most of the game”

Possible Athlete Answers:  “I carried the ball  across the goal line”; “We used an illegal chop block”; “God made it possible.”

Reporter: “What adjustments did you make in the second half to come back from 30 points down to beat the Spartans?”

Possible Athlete Answers: “We decided to actually try”; (pulling out dry erase board and drawing diagrams)”We starting using our mad dog 33 package against their double Exocet formation and went to the Tweety set on third down whenever they put in their puddy tat group”; “I got a new jock that let me adjust to the left instead of the right.”

Reporter: “How does it feel to clinch the Big Ten title?

Possible Athlete Answers: “Awful! I hate bowl games.”; “Sort of warm and wet.”; “Like I deserve to get paid some of the money this college makes from football.”

Kill me!

I bring this up because, as football season looms ever larger on the horizon, radio hosts across America are being paired up with football players or coaches for weekly interview segments which are often great for sales but unbearable for listeners.

The interviews often sound like they came from the sideline reporter’s guidebook: insipid questions which lead to lame answers.

If you have an opportunity to talk with a star player or coach, here’s how to make it interesting: talk about everything but the game.

This is your chance to pull back the curtain on an athlete’s life.

It’s far more interesting to talk about what a star athlete goes home to after the game or to get the inside scoop on who takes the most abuse in the locker room than it is to ask about why he chose to cut left instead of right on a second down play in the first quarter.

Unless of course you are talking to someone from Michigan State, then please ask why they insist on making their fans endure so many soul-crushing last-minute losses.

Go Green!